Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller is recognized as one of the world’s leading female stand-up comics. With five decades of performing, she has starred on television, in movies, and on stage, including the “Jack Paar Show,” Carnegie Hall, Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan, Soldier’s Field in Chicago, and Madison Square Garden in New York City. She appeared on Broadway in “Hello Dolly,” in Elia Kazan’s film Splendor in the Grass, co-starred in three other films, and appeared in 29 specials with Bob Hope. From 1972 to 1982, she performed as piano soloist with over 100 symphony orchestras in the U.S. and Canada. Author of four best-selling books, she has also received a plethora of awards, including Celebrity Business Woman of the Year (National Association of Women Business Owners), Lifetime Achievement Award (Annual Comedy Awards), and the 1993 Lifetime Humor Award (National Humor Institute). She also has her own star on Hollywood Boulevard.

MB: Hello, Madam. I’ve been told to call you Madam.

PD: Well, I like that.

MB: Thank you so much for doing this. My first question is—if this isn’t too scary—how long have you been performing? I understand you’re no longer doing it, but how long was your run?

PD: Fifty years.

MB: Wow! Were you nervous the first time you performed?

PD: That doesn’t even come close to describing it. [Laughs] Words like “terrified” would be better. [Laughs] Or words like “shaking so bad that I was a blur.” [Laughs] Words like “blank brain.” [Both laugh]

MB: Was there anything that you were telling yourself that was causing you to be so frightened?

PD: Well, it’s only natural. If you’re a beginner, you have no experience. You do not know that making a mistake isn’t fatal. [Both laugh] You’re sweating. The sweat is running down your back onto your buttocks and tickling. That doesn’t help either. The sweat is running into your boots—to the point that it's so strong and poisonous and toxic that it actually eats the leather lining of the boots. Have I made it clear?